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All You Have to Do Is Ask

6/4/2022

5 Comments

 
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President Barack Obama once said “Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. . . It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something. . .” It can be hard to ask for help, even when we need it the most. This applies to anything from whether you need help on your job or whether you need direction from God. Ask yourself what nerve you are hitting when you ask for help. Are you afraid of rejection? Are you scared you will be viewed as weak or incompetent? Do you want to be viewed as an independent woman? Are you worried that your problem is too small for God? You have to remember that you don’t know everything, nor are you expected to and that is okay.  
 I remember crying almost every day at my old job. I dreaded going in, and I was just so unhappy there. I would complain to my family and friends all the time about the issues I faced every day at work. The last straw came when I put in a request for PTO a month in advance and was immediately denied a minute after putting the request in. I had been there almost two years and had only taken a handful of days off from work. I put my two weeks in right after that. I took a vacation, regrouped, and found another job not long after. Unfortunately, I found myself back in the same cycle that I was in at my previous job. I didn’t understand why this kept happening to me and what the problem was. I was frustrated, defeated, sad, and quite frankly, depressed. I had the education, the experience, and the personality to be successful, but I was never finding satisfaction and happiness in the job.
Getting to this low point forced me to go to the one person I never vented or turned to in this situation: Jesus. I completely broke down one night and cried out for the Lord to hear my desires. I prayed for Him to give me guidance and direction for my life. For Him to place me in a position where I can do meaningful work every day and enjoy going to my job. I cried out for everything I wanted in my next position, and then I began to put my resume back out there. The Lord blessed me with a position in the nonprofit sector helping to offer free education and certifications in the technology sector with amazing benefits, fully remote and great PTO. I say all this to say that if I would’ve asked God sooner, then I wouldn’t have had to go through two jobs that drained my mental health. James 4:2 says that “you have not because you ask not.”
For me personally, I feel like I didn’t ask God for help because I allowed the enemy to plant seeds of doubt about my abilities in my mind. I allowed myself to believe that I couldn’t go into the nonprofit sector because of my lack of experience in that field. I allowed myself to feel ungrateful for wanting a change in my career. I really allowed the enemy to tell me things that I knew deep down weren’t true, but I was feeling vulnerable and that’s when we’re most susceptible to attacks from the enemy. I found that by simply asking for help, you gain the ability to move forward, and you gain the opportunity to learn. I’ve learned so much about myself from the moment I decided to put my career in the Lord’s hands. I’ve learned to trust in Him and only Him, not in man and what their worldly expectations are.
Whatever you’re dealing with, whether it be a new career path, you’re looking for guidance on your future spouse or you need help with your family, I ask you to lay it on the alter and completely give it to the Lord. He will give you the desires of your heart, and He will bless you exceedingly and abundantly beyond your greatest expectations. My favorite Bible verse that continues to speak to me is “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24
Guest Blogger, Jasmine Smith 

5 Comments

Let Striving Cease

5/3/2022

2 Comments

 
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            I’ve waited for a lot of things in my life. I’ve waited for the bus, waited to check out at the store, waited to be seated at my favorite restaurant… I’ve also waited for anxiety to go away. I’ve waited for the things God has promised He would do in my life to be fulfilled. I’ve waited for my family to be whole again after life-altering altercations. And I know that in times of waiting, we as people can get impatient. It’s always comedic to me when I’m getting off an airplane and the time comes for everyone to file out of the cabin. The moment, no - the second - the seatbelt sign turns off, there are many who stand up immediately (half-way, of course, as they try not to bump their heads on the overhead bins) and wait for the line to start moving. I watch as irritation and anger rise in those standing. Sighs echo through the airplane; eye-rolls abound. None of which makes the line proceed any faster. And I watch as those who waited in frustration exit the plane at the same time as those who waited sitting down with a smile, enjoying the last few moments of being seated with the person next to them.
 
            Recently I was reading 1 Kings Chapter 1. King David is nearing the end of his life, and it seems that everyone around him is preparing for the death of the king. Some in good ways, and others, not so good. As David is on bed-rest, one of his sons, Adonaijah, “exalted himself, saying, “I will be king”” (1 Kings 1:5). He gets chariots, horses and men together, confers with people in notable positions and receives their support (including a priest), all without David knowing.
 
     Alarms go off in her mind when Bathsheba, David’s wife, finds out. David had promised that her son, Solomon, would be king after him. So she and the prophet Nathan appear to David to notify him of what was going on. When David is told that Adonaijah had tried to make himself king, he responds simply with “As the LORD lives, who has redeemed my life from every distress, just as I swore to you by the LORD God of Israel, saying, ‘Assuredly Solomon your son shall be king after me, and he shall sit on my throne in my place,’ so I certainly will do this day” (1 Kings 1:29-30). He then orders for his servants to place Solomon on his own mule, have him be anointed as the rightful king of Israel, and blow the horns, saying “Long live King Solomon!” (v. 34). Solomon would then be the legally appointed king and sit on David’s throne, just as it was promised.
 
     Reading this, I saw a man who tried to promote himself without the king’s blessing. But this didn’t affect the king’s plan and purpose of putting his chosen son, Solomon, on the throne like he said he would.
 
     Solomon didn’t strive for his position as king. There’s no mention of him becoming anxious that David’s promise wouldn’t come to pass. But David made him king at just the right time.
 
       This made me think of the times I have gotten worried in the waiting. Admittedly, I have lost my confidence in God’s trustworthiness. Especially when the breakthrough seemed miles away, and I watched as others thrived in the ways I wasn’t. I got caught in the trap of comparison. I felt as though God would never come through for me and wondered why He was helping that person but wasn’t doing it for me, or so I thought. Are they more deserving? Do they have some sort of faith that I don’t have? What is it?
 
            The reality is, these questions revealed to me areas in my life where  I wasn’t trusting God. I didn’t trust Him to deliver on His promise, so I started to strive. I started to worry. I started to compare and contrast my life to others or tried to make things happen. All the while God was patiently waiting for me to fix my gaze back on Him rather than myself and my own abilities (or lack thereof). He simply and sweetly reminded me of His presence.
 
        Those of us who have received the gift of salvation through Christ are CHILDREN OF THE KING. We are no longer beggars who live in a reality of scarcity. Our God and King has everything we need, and better yet, He is a God who fulfills His promises. He is worthy of our FULL trust and His Word is true. I often ask myself, “What would my life look like right now if I trusted God 100%?” To me it looks like a little girl whose daddy told her, “I am going to take you to the movies this weekend.” All week she looks forward to her movie date. No matter how long the days feel, or how far away the weekend may be, she reminds herself, “My daddy said he is taking me to the movies this weekend.” And she believes him.
 
            Perhaps if Solomon didn’t lose his mind or get restless when his brother tried to steal the throne promised to him, if Solomon trusted in King David’s promise, we can trust in God to deliver on His promises. We can wait in confidence, joy, even. In the words of Jesus, who of you by worrying can add a single cubit to your stature? (Matt. 6:27). So, we can sit back. We can relax. We can truly REST. We can eat our pretzels and wait patiently and joyfully for our turn to exit the aircraft. 

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Guest Blogger, Arielle Nicole 
2 Comments

God what is it that you need of me?

4/3/2022

1 Comment

 
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            I’ve known for years that God had called me; I may not have known exactly what I was called to do but I wasn’t trying to find out either. Just like an unruly child deliberately ignores a parent; I decided to ignore God and turn my back towards him. I was not ready to say “Yes”.
            Just recently I found myself at a point in my life where I was “just living life”. Just doing what I needed to do to get through the day. Wake up, go to school, go to work, go home, do homework, go to sleep, repeat. I wasn’t doing anything for myself mentally or spiritually. I had fallen back from spending my time with God, journaling, and I’d even stopped praying. I was in a state where yes, I was physically here, but I was not present.
         I imagined myself on a running trail where I am jogging, out of breath, and weary. Then, one day something inside me had woken up. I was tired, but physically I was spiritually and mentally drained…. I was tired of being lukewarm Jesus. That’s when I stop running, I turn around and say with what breath I have left, “Here I am Lord, I say Yes”. It was almost as if someone had flipped a switch in me, the desire and yearning for God was back stronger than ever.
           One thing that my parents always taught me was that it is never too late to do anything. It’s never too late start over, to pursue a dream, to prioritize personal time, and mental health. No matter where you are in life, no matter what you are doing, or where you are going, its never too late to say “Yes” to Jesus. There will never be a “right” time so speak.
          Anytime IS the right time, any day is the right day, and any moment is the best moment you could ever choose to say “Yes” to God.
We hear this a lot in church so some may think it is cliché. God never, ever, truly ever turns his back to us even when ours is towards him. So, I’ll leave you with this. James 4:8 ESV “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded”.  


Guest Blogger, Tatiana Collins
1 Comment

Who do you have in your bizness?

3/7/2022

3 Comments

 
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There comes a time when our father expect us to grow up. We should constantly be maturing. Hebrews 5:12, “In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food.” Our unwillingness to confess the real truth concerning self, creates a repetitive cycle. Confess what? God’s desire is for his children to continue leveling up in him. He begins to convict you of things that once seemed minor or small.
We refer to certain sins as “BIG” like drinking, sex, clubbing, fornication and stealing. Song of Solomon 2:15 “Catch the foxes for us,
The little foxes that spoil and ruin the vineyards [of love],
While our vineyards are in blossom.”  
Small sins (as we refer to them) makes a BIG difference, & can literally destroy you; yet in your eyes it’s not a big deal, right? After all, I am not hurting anyone, it’s internal not visible.  In 2021, He began  showing me ways within, that needed to be addressed & dealt with. I was operating in a spirit of judgment, it had become so frequent that it didn’t  seem abnormal or it almost became impossible to realize, I was being judgmental, in my mind I am being honest. Honestly, confessing this was part of me was hard.
I didn’t like what God showed me about myself. After, bringing to light the error of my ways, I committed to change. Daily, praying asking him to make me aware, when I am operating in self-righteousness. It was important to me, to yield myself to God, so that full transformation could take place. Although; it hurt I knew eventually it would bring glory to him, there’s always a reason for the purging. When we refuse change it hinders our ability to be effective.
Immediately, I prayed asking the Lord, to help me quickly identify when I begin operating in that spirit, help me to be conscious of my thoughts; he gave me this scripture to meditate on,
 2 Corinthians 10: 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. This is how God, prepares us for HIS PLAN! Several years ago, while attending a conference in a totally different state, I met a lady and we connected via social media, eventually she purchased a copy of my book "From Tarnished to Treasured Beauty Revealed.”
After reading, she reached out in my messenger, expressing how she resonated with the book and one day she hopes to share her story. Recently, she called me thorough FB, we talked 3 hours. She opened up sharing some very personal things with me. I was shocked!  this is a woman of high stature, entrepreneur, beautiful, love the Lord, serve in her church, and sing in the choir. Yet, yet, yet, and still she was struggling with lust, men, infidelity. Did I mention she's been married 20 years?!?! But, my sister in Christ is struggling!!! I COULD NOT JUDGE! You see, I too experienced it. Not to the point of infidelity, but conversation and emotional attachment.
 I did what most wouldn't. Contacted one of the leaders immediately. Did you hear me? I was not playing with it!  I know me and  his word says; Romans 7:18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. I was honest, hey I feel like I am about to slip and fall, the first thing is being real with yourself, about “yourself.” James 5:16, tells us “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” This is what self-accountability looks like. This lady doesn’t know me beyond FB, her reason for calling was to discuss $8 eggs she saw posted. BUT GOD HAD ANOTHER PLAN! She ended up confessing, and confiding about Things she's NEVER shared with ANYONE......Why?
Out of fear of being judged. Fear of it being used against her later. Fear of rumors. Life, has a way of humbling us, so that we are compassionate to others. Romans 12: 3, “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” That's the love of our Father! When he is pulling out of us, the ugly parts of us it's so his glory can be revealed, on display. I was able to love, pray, & encourage without being judgmental. She said to me, "I wonder how many other women are struggling remaining silent?" God won’t give you everybody, but he will give you somebody. Allow him to work in you, so you can do the work for him! Be a safe place for other women.
CONVICTION, CONFESS, CORRECT, COMMIT, CONFIDE
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Guest Blogger, Crystal Hooks 
3 Comments

Sister, How you doing...For Real?

2/2/2022

5 Comments

 
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How many times have we been asked, and I am sure have asked someone this very familiar question?
It is as though it has become cliché whenever we come into someone’s
Presence.
With the many life challenges we are facing now with COVID, loss of family members, etc. it is important to have a support system of family and friends that check in with you to see how you’re doing.
 
How many of us, myself included,  would say that most of the time, we simply reply…I’m OK…I’m good.
 
When with every fiber of our being we really want to say, I’m not doing so good today.
 Because my friend you do know it’s OK to give yourself permission to not be OK.
 
Ladies, we as women can be our biggest critic. Even though I believe God gave us, his daughters, an extra measure of endurance, we need to make sure we are not setting the bar too high. Proper perspective and a healthy balance are vital
 
Most importantly when we find ourselves becoming overwhelmed, or just in burnout mode remember this:
             
              1Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for us.
 
My sisters, it is time to take off the Mask! Yes, the Mask. Mask of shame, hurt, inadequacy, unforgiveness, whatever it is you have been trying to cover up behind the Mask.
 
Because can I tell you something, Daddy God sees every hurt, pain, and disappointment.
In Genesis 16:13 Hagar referred to the Lord as “the God who sees me.” My friend, we are never alone, because we serve a God who sees us. We can rest knowing God is never, yes never, unaware of what we are going through. And everything that concerns us concerns Abba Father.
 
Recently I was having a conversation with a sister friend, and I asked how she was doing. Of course, she simply replied , I’m Ok. But you know how you know when someone is not OK. So, I asked again with all sincerity how are you really doing!
 
Her demeanor quickly changed, and she began to open up (Mask coming off) . I could see the weight being lifted as she began to gradually take off the Mask.
 
 
We have become so familiar with covering up how we really feel that we can find it difficult to express our true feelings. I believe this originates from a place of thinking that we are the ones that are supposed to be there for everyone else.
 
Because we are maternal by nature, we can find ourselves, if we’re not careful, investing in other people and not ourselves. When this happens, we carry things that God never intended for us to carry. Listen friend, it’s OK to say no sometimes, to not have all the answers.
 
I have often heard that the first step to being free of whatever holds us hostage, is by acknowledging its existence. A study from the University of Texas, found that by not acknowledging our emotions we are making them stronger (captivity).
 
We find in the words of John 8:36 where Jesus makes a wonderful statement of victory,
                                       “Whom the Son sets Free is Free indeed”!
 
Although this passage of scripture, is in reference to the believer’s freedom from the bondage, penalty, and guilt of sin, it also refers to our freedom to Live out Loud. We are no longer slaves to sin, and it increases our capacity to love, to have joy, to experience peace, and to enjoy life.
 
John 10:10 “I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.”
 
My Sisters,  let this year, 2022,  be the year you begin to live life to the full! Take time to invest in yourself, and when God does send that Sisterfriend your way and she does ask, Sister how you doing?, let her know For Real, For Real,  you‘ll be so glad you did.
 
Live Out Loud!!
 
Guest Blogger, Leslie Ross
 
 
5 Comments

January 05th, 2022

1/5/2022

6 Comments

 
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Happy New Year my SisterFriends💜 you made it to another year with more trips around the sun. When we started 2021 no one new for certainty if we would actually make it past all the turns and curves life was throwing at us. Loss and grief fell like the rain on a spring day slow and steady with no end in sight. Somehow, we were the fortunate ones to live past the pain, death, destruction, and pandemic chaos. Honestly, as we enter into 2022, we haven’t actually lived past it we’ve learned to live with it and to take the lessons we’ve learned from each encounter on our journey through life. Together, I believe we learned to love God well as we learned to love ourselves on this together trek. A SisterFriend shared this thought with me, “We pray for the best as we prepare for the worst” when she said it, I paused in thought for a while because it almost felt anti faith. The more I pondered I was eventually brought to the place of faith without works is dead.

14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. 18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without [a]your works, and I will show you my faith by [b]my works. James 2:14-18

The pandemic lessons have taught many of us to be ambidextrous in our movements and thinking. The ability became a learned behavior for not just survival but for thriving in an ever-changing society. To be even handed on both sides with accuracy and power has been a life-giving attribute during this season of multiple transitions and paradigms. My sister everything around you said it couldn’t be done, it wouldn’t be done yet God became the wind beneath your efforts, and you saw much accomplished, healed, restored, and strengthened as you stayed connected to God.
The sisterhood you didn’t see became present/known right before you and the size of that sisterhood had no value placed on it, the value was achieved and celebrated in the circle ⭕️ itself and not the size of the circle. As we embark on this new year, I sense a greater appreciation for life, simple tasks, gathering, family, community, shopping, and breathing without masks has been imprinted on our hearts. The imprint has brought us to She is ….Fulfilled! Fulfilled is satisfied, at ease, at peace, content, pleased , untroubled and gratified. How can this be? She is….Fulfilled because He has covered her with His goodness and His goodness has taught her restless heart to be at peace.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So, don’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27

To truly grasp the word fulfilled you must divorce yourself from the relationship we have at times with words and language. Being fulfilled doesn’t mean you don’t set goals or grasp for new heights , try unfamiliar tasks and accomplishments. Fulfillment truly embodies the wholeness and complete work of the spirit in us and through us thus completely satisfying the wanting our souls long for. I pray 2022 will officially induct you into the
She is….Fulfilled club!
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Blogger, Teresa Cooper

Psalm 16:11 You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

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6 Comments

Girl, why are you tripping?

12/3/2021

5 Comments

 
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How many of us have ever dealt with stress and anxiety? I hope everyone is virtually raising a hand. Stress is defined as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. Anxiety refers to being in a persistent state of worry or displaying excessive amounts of fear. During this pandemic, stress and anxiety levels have drastically increased. I know mine have! We have had to face so many issues like finding a job, working remote, kids learning virtually, bills, getting vaccinated or not, trying not to get COVID, just to name a few.
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For as long as I can remember, I have always been a stressed and anxious person. I just used to hide it very well. As the oldest child, I’ve always felt the pressure of setting a good example for my siblings. The expectation was to not only get a good education but to also be like a second mom to them. Those of you who are the oldest understand what I’m talking about. Parents always put so much responsibility on the oldest child. What happens if I fail or I don’t live up to the expectations put on me that everyone else including myself have? Failure never seemed like an option to me. Then as a single woman on my own, I feel an added amount of pressure. “When are you going to get a boyfriend? When are you getting married? When do you plan on having kids because you know you’re getting older? You’re starting to look a little hefty.” And it goes on and on. This type of consistent questioning can cause you to overthink and become stressed out about where you are in your life journey.
 
As time progressed, my stress and anxiety went from being hidden to causing physical symptoms in my body. I started having sleeping problems where I wasn’t able to get a good night’s sleep or I’m just up until 4 or 5 in the morning every night. Chronic headaches and mild depression started to set in. My muscles in my jaw, neck and back get really tense and start to flare up. I’ve started to become really on edge and jumpy. The smallest thing can cause me to literally jump and/or scream. Those are just some of the things I battle daily. I’ve learned that these symptoms can turn into a greater problem down the line if not addressed and managed.
 
So how do we work on this? First, when I feel myself starting to get really anxious or stressed out, I ask myself “Girl, why are you trippin?” The Bible tells us “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” - Matthew 6:27. Stressing and worrying won’t change the problem that’s in front of you. The good news is there’s no shame in feeling this way, and if you need help, I urge you to go seek it. In the black community, we don’t really talk a lot about therapy. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with seeking professional help and getting to the root of your anxiety. If you don’t have the resources to see a therapist or just don’t feel comfortable, speak to your pastor, a family member or friend that you can trust to not be judgmental and will have your best interest at heart. Another thing I will do is get in my Word, turn some worship music on and get before God to pray. He will always comfort and calm me down. Some other tips to help reduce and manage your anxiety are:
 
  • Make sure you’re eating healthy, balanced meals. Try not to skip a meal.
  • Limit caffeine (triggers anxiety attacks)
  • Make sure you’re getting enough sleep every night.
  • Get out and exercise daily for at least 20 minutes a day.
  • Whenever you feel yourself having an anxiety attack, take depression breaths.
  • Learn what your triggers are.
  • Write in a journal.
 
This is a daily battle within myself, and I am constantly working on ways to manage it better. Remember to ask yourself, “Girl, why are you trippin” and talk to God. It’s okay to ask for help. He’s given us all the tools we need to mange this.
“I want you to be free from anxieties.” - 1 Corinthians 7:32
 
Guest Blogger, Jasmine Smith



 
5 Comments

Acknowledging Your Pain

11/1/2021

4 Comments

 
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Have you ever tried to bypass acknowledging your pain? I mean the kind of pain that comes from betrayal, or grief of losing someone or maybe you experienced a loss of a job. Any type of loss creates pain. The key is to acknowledge your pain to help you heal. If you don’t allow yourself to feel your pain and be in touch with your emotions, you will bypass the season all together. Trust me, you don’t want to do that at all. Why? It will show up in another season creating havoc. I’ve learned all to well from my personal experiences that unaddressed pain can create anger, loneliness, and even depression. You think you have everything under control, and everything seems to be going well on the surface. But internally, you are hurting. Then out of nowhere, “Bang! Pain like no other shows up!”  You begin to wonder what’s going on and why am I feeling this way. If you’re anything like me, I run to Jesus if something seems off in my life. I ask Him to help me understand so I can pinpoint and address the problem appropriately. I wasn’t always this way, but over time I learned that He has the key to all of my questions. If I needed anything, all I had to do was ask Jesus.
I recall one time when I was working for this company, and I didn’t comply with the CEO’s personal request, things began to get uncomfortable for me at work. I was no longer what they called a “team player.” I didn’t fit the requirement for the position any longer. They even had the Director of Human Resources fly into town to tell me that I should reconsider my position with the company. Why? Because I wouldn’t comply with the CEO’s personal request one evening. I was devastated. Why was this happening to me? I was young, talented, and I worked hard to get this promotion. Here I was being propositioned and because I didn’t comply, I was no longer of any use to the company. Talk about feeling hurt, I was devasted, which turned into deep pain. My career with this company was ending because I chose not to compromise my self-worth for a job.  I eventually moved on and had several jobs that were unsuccessful. I carried this pain into every other organization. I was unable to thrive because I was hurt and suspicious of leadership.
 It wasn’t until I was working with an employee of mine who lost their husband. They had been married for over 30 years. She continued to work without taking additional time off.  Her reason was that she needed to provide for her two daughters.  The girls were in high school now, and she needed to be strong. Overall, she wasn’t handling the loss of her husband well. She would come into the office angry, yelling at employees and customers. It got to the point where I had to get involved. I remember recommending that she take a few weeks off or take as much time as she needed to address her grief. I recall telling her that she could not avoid this season or bypass the pain she was feeling, or it will show back up later.
After leaving the office, The Lord said to me: have you addressed your pain from the hurt you experienced from your previous company? Wow! Talk about a slap in the face. I had not addressed my pain. I wasn’t getting the full enjoyment of working with my team.  I was still suspicious of leadership, and it seemed like everyone else too. I didn’t realize why my suspicions occasionally would pop up. It all stemmed from the unaddressed pain from my previous employer.
After taking a hard look at myself I began to heal through the support of prayer, mentors, and close friends. I first had to acknowledge that I didn’t like what happened to me and that it hurt. I believe if I would have just dealt with my pain at that moment, it wouldn’t have carried into my next season. For my employee, she refused to take the time to heal properly and eventually separated from the organization. She carried her pain and lashed out at others, and I was closing myself off from others. I am thankful that God saw fit to challenge me to look at myself. He challenged me to self-examine and address an area that could have potentially damaged my career. I had to allow myself to heal from the hurt of being rejected and betrayed. I challenge you that if you’re going through a season of loss, deal with it and don’t try to bypass the season. Allow yourself to heal with the help of Christ. Step into your next season stronger. Remember each season serves a purpose. 


Guest Blogger 
Nicole Adkinson
4 Comments

Authentically Me, Authentically You...

10/6/2021

2 Comments

 
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        Have you ever felt, too tall, or too short? What about too dark or not dark enough? As women we have all felt insecure at one time or another. Maybe we weigh too much or not enough (believe it or not, that’s a thing too). Do you ever look in the mirror and wish you were someone else? We all have our insecurities about ourselves. Many of us have these insecurities in the early years of our womanhood. And as we get older, we begin thinking about our health and longevity. Whatever the reason is for our securities, or concerns the fact remains, we all have them.
            When these thoughts cross our minds, the scriptures about how fearfully and wonderfully made we are seems to be forgotten. The scriptures about how intricately formed we are as woman, escapes us. Isn’t it strange how the enemy whispers to us and we hear it loud and clear? But when scripture yell at us we can’t hear it at all. We find ourselves starved for validation or always looking for someone to say, “You look nice today, or Did you change your hair?” Did I hear someone say, “Did you lose weight?” Ohhhh Sis,  that’s the one! That question makes the sparkle come alive in our eyes, it puts a bounce in our step, and a smile on our faces. We have no problem believing the compliments of others. We say, “Flatter me why don’t you, I’ll take it.”
            What would happen if we reacted the same way when we heard what God says about us? You know that body that you don’t like  that body that’s too big, or too small. That body that’s too dark or too light, that same body that we wished belonged to someone else; yeah, that’s the one. It is a part of Christ’s body. 1 Corinthians 12:27 says: “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”. 1 Peter calls you “ God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” Yes, Sis! That body of yours, that hair of yours, it’s His. And He thinks good thoughts of you. He is in love with that body of yours. He wants to tell you that you look nice today, and that hair, guess what, He knows the number of those hairs on your  head. Oh yeah Sis. He sees you and He wants me to tell you that its ok to put that bounce in your step, that sparkle in your eyes and that smile on your face. He asks you this,  “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit?”
            Go ahead. Do you Sis. Be confident today. Wear that outfit that makes you feel good. Let those natural coils show or even straighten those coils, it’s all up to you. Maybe you’re not a kinky chick, that’s fine, flaunt those beautiful tresses and laugh out loud! Yes, I said laugh out loud, it’s good for the soul. Better yet get with a few of your SisterFriends and laugh out loud together. There is nothing better than getting with your SisterFriends and building each other up. Why, because you are WONDERFUL and so is, she.  Your authenticity is what makes you, you. And it’s ok to be you. It’s ok to be comfortable in your own skin. If you were not you, there would be no you, and I would miss YOU!  Guess what, you would miss you too. So, don’t change a thing to please others. Let the authenticity flow! Try loving you just the way you are. Then, any changes that occur will be natural, it will be changes that you approve of and changes that you welcome. It’s ok to change if those changes are changes you want and you feel good about. But learn to live, love, and laugh with your authentic self!
 
Guest Blogger,
Latonia Dessasau
2 Comments

In a loud world, I can hear God whisper.

9/9/2021

1 Comment

 
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Are you one of those people whose face expressions tell those around you exactly what you’re thinking? Same. Let me share a specific encounter with one of my readable face expressions…

Kelly*, a classmate in high school, shared with me her faith during history class one day. I remember overhearing another classmate brag about how he had read the whole Bible front-to-back. He wasn’t a nice person. My facial expression must have revealed my judgmental thoughts because Kelly leaned over to me and said, “Just because you read the Bible, doesn’t mean you know God.” She shared that God wanted a relationship with me. This unshakable truth buried deep in my memory. 
Before I came to know God, I was a “believer”. I believed He existed; that He created the universe. I also believed He was detached from humanity; ever watchful, but in a condemning way. I was not, however, a “follower” or child of God. I hadn’t surrendered my heart to Him; I hadn’t been adopted into His family. I did not understand that I was created for a personal relationship with the Almighty. 
Recently, I came across disturbing social media content stating that relational connection with God is not possible. Statements, like these, aren’t rare in our post-modern society. However, the statements were made from those who profess Christianity, and I found myself deeply troubled. I hope to encourage anyone seeking God to know that relationship with Him is not only possible, it’s everything. 
 
Fast forward three years from my encounter with Kelly… I was 17 and kneeling in my parents’ damp, cold basement preparing to end my life. I had my journal where I would write my “goodbye” letter. A random thought came to me, “Why don’t I write to God?” So I did. I told Him how much my soul hurt. I told Him I wanted so badly to be loved… that I would live for Him if He proved to me He was real and He cared for me. 
The next morning, I woke up a completely changed person. Suddenly, I wanted to live. A remarkable change occurred within me; the empty feeling was replaced with hope and peace. I couldn’t explain it, but I knew God did something. After that, my new faith journey continued with reading my Bible every night. I wanted to know more about this Jesus who did this incredible work within me and gave me hope when there was none. I went after Him and found friendship in Him. I have been walking in relationship with Almighty God for over half my life now. 
 
He whispered to me through Kelly. He had whispered to me with a “random” thought to write to Him. All before I even knew Him personally. He is always speaking. 
 
Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” (John 8:32) The Greek word for know is ginóskó which means to know, especially through personal experience (first-hand acquaintance). Knowledge of God should go beyond your intellect, it should be experienced.
 
Faith is the beginning of walking in relationship with God. The book of Hebrews 11:6 tells us that without faith it is impossible to please God, for He is the rewarder of those who earnestly/diligently seek Him. After you believe, you should be “seeking after Him” seriously, and you will continue to find Him, experience Him and hear Him.
 
The Bible is more than a textbook. It’s alive and active. It’s His words that continue to speak to your heart and situations. Relationship with God is more than just one-sided prayers. He speaks too. He’s active and alive in your daily life. His supernatural presence is at work in our natural world. If you only believe in God, but have not also supernaturally experienced Him, you are just touching the surface.
He speaks to me in many different ways, always confirmed from His Word: In dreams, through other people, through random movie scenes and books, through my journal writing… even, at times, through those who hate Him. 
 
I wish I had more time to write the many ways and times God saved my life and intervened lovingly just by being in relationship with Him. If a wave of doubt comes, or I witness others living out Christianity inauthentic, I always think back to those real moments with him because I know Him. 
 
If you have yet to experience real relationship with God, it’s time to stop renting your faith from your friends, pastors, podcasts or parents. 
 
Here is how you can position yourself to hear Him:
  1. His Word- Read it daily. Memorize it. Meditate on one verse a week. Ask God for help in living that verse out. Allow His Word to change your thinking and wash over your soul. His word should not only challenge us, it should change us. When people say things that are contrary to it, I know it’s not of God. 
  2. Impressions- Another word for this is discernment, which can grow because Hebrews states “discernment is by reason of use”. Think Spidey senses, if you are familiar with the comic book character Spider Man. It’s sometimes a strong feeling, other times a small tug. Always, I ask God for answers and wisdom and remember what His word says. 
  3. Dreams- I know some odd dreams can be a bad piece of chicken you ate the night before, but God uses dreams to get your attention. Ask Him what they mean. He has spoken to me through dreams and when I awaken I have an other worldly feeling. Usually my dreams come true. Other times He entrusts me with secrets because He knows I will pray.
  4. Thoughts - A “random” thought will pop into my head which I know was not from me. Sometimes it’s an important memory. The longer I walk in relationship with God the more I can confirm that it’s Him, especially when it is in line with His Word. Pray when a thought pops into your head that seems God-focused. 
  5. Encouragement from fellow believers - this is one of the major reasons why a church family is so important! If you are struggling with your faith journey and someone is thriving in theirs, there ought to be an exchange of vulnerability and sincere encouragement. God will speak through people to get to you. 
  6. Through journaling - Next to knowing and memorizing His Word, this one is my favorite because it’s how my faith journey began. I write to God as if He is peering over my shoulder reading what I wrote. I write to God with authenticity and vulnerability. Then later, I read what I wrote and am always amazed that I can see He speaks to me through my own writing. It’s a spiritual discipline I highly encourage! 
 
Above all try to remain soft hearted toward God. The Bible is clear with so many examples of people being hard-hearted and it being impossible to hear from Him. 
 
Are you angry with Him? Be honest with Him. Are you hurting? Let Him know. When you turn toward Him, you open yourself up to hear from Him. He is always speaking. He loves you and wants a personal relationship with you. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you as I did so many years ago. I bet my life on it that He will. If you are unable to hear Him, position your heart and your actions to listen intently. I pray you know Him too, friends. 
*Name changed to protect privacy.
 
Guest Blogger, Chantal Small
 
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    Author Bio
    Pastor Teresa actively travels throughout the country imparting the Word of God in a candid and refreshing way. Teresa is the host and creator of SisterFriends Cups and Conversations, an Internet Talk Show providing a platform for women to engage. www.newcreationfamilychurch.com to learn more.

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