Why am I jealous?
I’ve dealt with jealousy. I began to ask myself why am I jealous?
There’s no reason to be jealous of another woman.
Guess what I realized?
I was jealous because of my own insecurities.
Once I defeated my insecurities I defeated jealousy.
It’s not you, it’s your insecurities. It could be rejection, or abandonment from your childhood that's opening the door of doubt. Which in turn is causing you to doubt who you are and how amazing you are. 
God has given you power and authority to crush your insecurities and to crush doubt and low-self esteem. 
You really want to make the devil mad?
When the enemy tries to make you jealous of someone celebrate that person to defeat what the enemy is trying to do.
It doesn’t benefit you at all to be jealous of another person. If you’re intimidated by someone, that may spark jealousy as well.
Don’t be intimidated. If they’re doing something you want to do or mastering something in life that you want to accomplish. Choose to learn from them, instead of choosing to be jealous. 
Connect with them to learn from them, instead of becoming jealous of them.
 
Guest Blogger,  D’Audrea  Smith 

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Hello friend, have you ever felt like your goals and ambitions were on a
Go……Stop🛑……go….stop🛑 merry go round?  It can look like it’s entertaining but in reality it’s not!

The energy it takes to maintain your composure, faith, energy and mental capacity is draining especially when it involves the participation of other players.
Teresa!, what kinda blog is this?  The only kind that truly works and worth reading……….
a truthful, honest and real blog for real women who are living in highly functional environments with a world that is evolving at high levels of change and new paradigms.
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SisterFriends, coffee and Jesus are a real winning combination😊 I just read a article in the New York Post that said, “ Scientists baffled as Earth spins faster than usual” C’mon……now the very earth itself is doing unprecedented actions that I can actually attest too. The days DO feel shorter😳 and that could be a contributing factor to my merry go round experience. At least it’s a 💭 thought
 
Okay sis., Back to the Stop and Go scenario. It really is apart of life and the human condition. It doesn’t matter how much we Boss up or flex our executive muscles we need the other team players to do their part. No one and I mean no one accomplishes great things on there OWN. The other players part could be work related, family related, ministry related or friend related. Simply put, when your teammates in what ever position they play in slows or hinders your preset goals and ambitions you will have to pivot. You pivot because you’re still responsible for whatever leadership, creative dream, entrepreneurial vision that has been entrusted to your care. As my Mama would say,
“ain’t no one monkey gone stop the show” 😝
 
God called you! God positioned you! God entrusted you! So from time to time you’ll recalibrate and adjust your spin to the slowest possible cycle so you can sit alone, sit with Him, so He can whisper “ I got YOU” and “I’m with You” you’ll finish this race not just on time but with plenty of time left so you can exhale and appreciate the experience.
 
So the next time your circumstances get you feeling like your on a merry go round, and I can hear 👂 the fancy sisters saying,” Carousel darling” just remember as a child you dreamed of them, you loved riding them and just like a child you cultivate wonder, faith and trust because it produces the miraculous!
 
“But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: Let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee.”
Psalm 5:11 KJV
 
Blogger,  Teresa Cooper
 
P.S. I’m cheering 📣 for YOU
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Good Information: Heaven’s Perspective
 
Therapist and Author Stephen James spends much of his time working with boys and parents of boys. He says a question he gets asked hundreds, if not thousands of times, is, “Is this normal?” And most often, underneath that question is a deeper, petrifying concern that parents have: “Is my son normal?” If you are a parent or caregiver, you know this worry. Stephen goes on to say that most often, his answer is yes and that much of the parent’s concerns can be dispelled with good information and education. For instance, between ages 13-17, a boy’s physiological world is pure chaos. As Stephen reminds us, during this stage, the chemical reactions in a boy’s body are like a fireworks stand on fire: excessive surges of testosterone, serotonin spikes and dips, and other chemicals and hormones pouring through his body. This can result in out-of-control acne to intense mood swings that mirror those of menopausal women. These chemical shifts cause hair growth, his voice to deepen, and his attitude to sour.
I must admit that after reading Stephen James and David Thomas’ book, “Wild Things, the Art of Nurturing Boys” my quiet yet gnawing concerns as a mother of boys were dispelled. He was right; good information and education gave me perspective. Heart calming perspective. I’ve found this principle also to be true with God while traveling the winding road of life. The various situations we encounter on our life journey can often be uncertain and downright scary, but I’ve found that prayer (walking with God) and reading His Word ALWAYS dispels my fear and gives me a higher perspective.
Remember the time in the Bible when the Prophet Elisha and his servant woke up to discover their home was surrounded by the Syrian Army, intending to seize Elisha? When the servant saw the army, he responded in fear and asked, “What shall we do?” Elisha replied not to be afraid because there were more with them than the army. Elisha then prayed, “Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.” The servant’s eyes were opened, and what did he see? A mountain full of horses and chariots of fire surrounding Elisha, who subsequently blinded the Syrian Army. You see, Elisha had what Stephen James describes as “good information and education” --- he had a heavenly perspective that was clearer than the human eye. I encourage you the next time you find yourself with a gnawing concern or fear, to seek the Lord in prayer and find Him in His Word. You are sure to walk away with a higher perspective and your worries dispelled.
Then Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes and let him see!” The Lord opened the young man’s eyes... 2 Kings 6:17
 
Guest Blogger, Tikita Peagler 

 
            I’ve waited for a lot of things in my life. I’ve waited for the bus, waited to check out at the store, waited to be seated at my favorite restaurant… I’ve also waited for anxiety to go away. I’ve waited for the things God has promised He would do in my life to be fulfilled. I’ve waited for my family to be whole again after life-altering altercations. And I know that in times of waiting, we as people can get impatient. It’s always comedic to me when I’m getting off an airplane and the time comes for everyone to file out of the cabin. The moment, no - the second - the seatbelt sign turns off, there are many who stand up immediately (half-way, of course, as they try not to bump their heads on the overhead bins) and wait for the line to start moving. I watch as irritation and anger rise in those standing. Sighs echo through the airplane; eye-rolls abound. None of which makes the line proceed any faster. And I watch as those who waited in frustration exit the plane at the same time as those who waited sitting down with a smile, enjoying the last few moments of being seated with the person next to them.
 
            Recently I was reading 1 Kings Chapter 1. King David is nearing the end of his life, and it seems that everyone around him is preparing for the death of the king. Some in good ways, and others, not so good. As David is on bed-rest, one of his sons, Adonaijah, “exalted himself, saying, “I will be king”” (1 Kings 1:5). He gets chariots, horses and men together, confers with people in notable positions and receives their support (including a priest), all without David knowing.
 
     Alarms go off in her mind when Bathsheba, David’s wife, finds out. David had promised that her son, Solomon, would be king after him. So she and the prophet Nathan appear to David to notify him of what was going on. When David is told that Adonaijah had tried to make himself king, he responds simply with “As the LORD lives, who has redeemed my life from every distress, just as I swore to you by the LORD God of Israel, saying, ‘Assuredly Solomon your son shall be king after me, and he shall sit on my throne in my place,’ so I certainly will do this day” (1 Kings 1:29-30). He then orders for his servants to place Solomon on his own mule, have him be anointed as the rightful king of Israel, and blow the horns, saying “Long live King Solomon!” (v. 34). Solomon would then be the legally appointed king and sit on David’s throne, just as it was promised.
 
     Reading this, I saw a man who tried to promote himself without the king’s blessing. But this didn’t affect the king’s plan and purpose of putting his chosen son, Solomon, on the throne like he said he would.
 
     Solomon didn’t strive for his position as king. There’s no mention of him becoming anxious that David’s promise wouldn’t come to pass. But David made him king at just the right time.
 
       This made me think of the times I have gotten worried in the waiting. Admittedly, I have lost my confidence in God’s trustworthiness. Especially when the breakthrough seemed miles away, and I watched as others thrived in the ways I wasn’t. I got caught in the trap of comparison. I felt as though God would never come through for me and wondered why He was helping that person but wasn’t doing it for me, or so I thought. Are they more deserving? Do they have some sort of faith that I don’t have? What is it?
 
            The reality is, these questions revealed to me areas in my life where  I wasn’t trusting God. I didn’t trust Him to deliver on His promise, so I started to strive. I started to worry. I started to compare and contrast my life to others or tried to make things happen. All the while God was patiently waiting for me to fix my gaze back on Him rather than myself and my own abilities (or lack thereof). He simply and sweetly reminded me of His presence.
 
        Those of us who have received the gift of salvation through Christ are CHILDREN OF THE KING. We are no longer beggars who live in a reality of scarcity. Our God and King has everything we need, and better yet, He is a God who fulfills His promises. He is worthy of our FULL trust and His Word is true. I often ask myself, “What would my life look like right now if I trusted God 100%?” To me it looks like a little girl whose daddy told her, “I am going to take you to the movies this weekend.” All week she looks forward to her movie date. No matter how long the days feel, or how far away the weekend may be, she reminds herself, “My daddy said he is taking me to the movies this weekend.” And she believes him.
 
            Perhaps if Solomon didn’t lose his mind or get restless when his brother tried to steal the throne promised to him, if Solomon trusted in King David’s promise, we can trust in God to deliver on His promises. We can wait in confidence, joy, even. In the words of Jesus, who of you by worrying can add a single cubit to your stature? (Matt. 6:27). So, we can sit back. We can relax. We can truly REST. We can eat our pretzels and wait patiently and joyfully for our turn to exit the aircraft. 

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Guest Blogger, Arielle Nicole 

            I’ve known for years that God had called me; I may not have known exactly what I was called to do but I wasn’t trying to find out either. Just like an unruly child deliberately ignores a parent; I decided to ignore God and turn my back towards him. I was not ready to say “Yes”.
            Just recently I found myself at a point in my life where I was “just living life”. Just doing what I needed to do to get through the day. Wake up, go to school, go to work, go home, do homework, go to sleep, repeat. I wasn’t doing anything for myself mentally or spiritually. I had fallen back from spending my time with God, journaling, and I’d even stopped praying. I was in a state where yes, I was physically here, but I was not present.
         I imagined myself on a running trail where I am jogging, out of breath, and weary. Then, one day something inside me had woken up. I was tired, but physically I was spiritually and mentally drained…. I was tired of being lukewarm Jesus. That’s when I stop running, I turn around and say with what breath I have left, “Here I am Lord, I say Yes”. It was almost as if someone had flipped a switch in me, the desire and yearning for God was back stronger than ever.
           One thing that my parents always taught me was that it is never too late to do anything. It’s never too late start over, to pursue a dream, to prioritize personal time, and mental health. No matter where you are in life, no matter what you are doing, or where you are going, its never too late to say “Yes” to Jesus. There will never be a “right” time so speak.
          Anytime IS the right time, any day is the right day, and any moment is the best moment you could ever choose to say “Yes” to God.
We hear this a lot in church so some may think it is cliché. God never, ever, truly ever turns his back to us even when ours is towards him. So, I’ll leave you with this. James 4:8 ESV “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded”.  


Guest Blogger, Tatiana Collins

There comes a time when our father expect us to grow up. We should constantly be maturing. Hebrews 5:12, “In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food.” Our unwillingness to confess the real truth concerning self, creates a repetitive cycle. Confess what? God’s desire is for his children to continue leveling up in him. He begins to convict you of things that once seemed minor or small.
We refer to certain sins as “BIG” like drinking, sex, clubbing, fornication and stealing. Song of Solomon 2:15 “Catch the foxes for us,
The little foxes that spoil and ruin the vineyards [of love],
While our vineyards are in blossom.”  
Small sins (as we refer to them) makes a BIG difference, & can literally destroy you; yet in your eyes it’s not a big deal, right? After all, I am not hurting anyone, it’s internal not visible.  In 2021, He began  showing me ways within, that needed to be addressed & dealt with. I was operating in a spirit of judgment, it had become so frequent that it didn’t  seem abnormal or it almost became impossible to realize, I was being judgmental, in my mind I am being honest. Honestly, confessing this was part of me was hard.
I didn’t like what God showed me about myself. After, bringing to light the error of my ways, I committed to change. Daily, praying asking him to make me aware, when I am operating in self-righteousness. It was important to me, to yield myself to God, so that full transformation could take place. Although; it hurt I knew eventually it would bring glory to him, there’s always a reason for the purging. When we refuse change it hinders our ability to be effective.
Immediately, I prayed asking the Lord, to help me quickly identify when I begin operating in that spirit, help me to be conscious of my thoughts; he gave me this scripture to meditate on,
 2 Corinthians 10: 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. This is how God, prepares us for HIS PLAN! Several years ago, while attending a conference in a totally different state, I met a lady and we connected via social media, eventually she purchased a copy of my book "From Tarnished to Treasured Beauty Revealed.”
After reading, she reached out in my messenger, expressing how she resonated with the book and one day she hopes to share her story. Recently, she called me thorough FB, we talked 3 hours. She opened up sharing some very personal things with me. I was shocked!  this is a woman of high stature, entrepreneur, beautiful, love the Lord, serve in her church, and sing in the choir. Yet, yet, yet, and still she was struggling with lust, men, infidelity. Did I mention she's been married 20 years?!?! But, my sister in Christ is struggling!!! I COULD NOT JUDGE! You see, I too experienced it. Not to the point of infidelity, but conversation and emotional attachment.
 I did what most wouldn't. Contacted one of the leaders immediately. Did you hear me? I was not playing with it!  I know me and  his word says; Romans 7:18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. I was honest, hey I feel like I am about to slip and fall, the first thing is being real with yourself, about “yourself.” James 5:16, tells us “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” This is what self-accountability looks like. This lady doesn’t know me beyond FB, her reason for calling was to discuss $8 eggs she saw posted. BUT GOD HAD ANOTHER PLAN! She ended up confessing, and confiding about Things she's NEVER shared with ANYONE......Why?
Out of fear of being judged. Fear of it being used against her later. Fear of rumors. Life, has a way of humbling us, so that we are compassionate to others. Romans 12: 3, “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” That's the love of our Father! When he is pulling out of us, the ugly parts of us it's so his glory can be revealed, on display. I was able to love, pray, & encourage without being judgmental. She said to me, "I wonder how many other women are struggling remaining silent?" God won’t give you everybody, but he will give you somebody. Allow him to work in you, so you can do the work for him! Be a safe place for other women.
CONVICTION, CONFESS, CORRECT, COMMIT, CONFIDE
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Guest Blogger, Crystal Hooks 

How many times have we been asked, and I am sure have asked someone this very familiar question?
It is as though it has become cliché whenever we come into someone’s
Presence.
With the many life challenges we are facing now with COVID, loss of family members, etc. it is important to have a support system of family and friends that check in with you to see how you’re doing.
 
How many of us, myself included,  would say that most of the time, we simply reply…I’m OK…I’m good.
 
When with every fiber of our being we really want to say, I’m not doing so good today.
 Because my friend you do know it’s OK to give yourself permission to not be OK.
 
Ladies, we as women can be our biggest critic. Even though I believe God gave us, his daughters, an extra measure of endurance, we need to make sure we are not setting the bar too high. Proper perspective and a healthy balance are vital
 
Most importantly when we find ourselves becoming overwhelmed, or just in burnout mode remember this:
             
              1Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for us.
 
My sisters, it is time to take off the Mask! Yes, the Mask. Mask of shame, hurt, inadequacy, unforgiveness, whatever it is you have been trying to cover up behind the Mask.
 
Because can I tell you something, Daddy God sees every hurt, pain, and disappointment.
In Genesis 16:13 Hagar referred to the Lord as “the God who sees me.” My friend, we are never alone, because we serve a God who sees us. We can rest knowing God is never, yes never, unaware of what we are going through. And everything that concerns us concerns Abba Father.
 
Recently I was having a conversation with a sister friend, and I asked how she was doing. Of course, she simply replied , I’m Ok. But you know how you know when someone is not OK. So, I asked again with all sincerity how are you really doing!
 
Her demeanor quickly changed, and she began to open up (Mask coming off) . I could see the weight being lifted as she began to gradually take off the Mask.
 
 
We have become so familiar with covering up how we really feel that we can find it difficult to express our true feelings. I believe this originates from a place of thinking that we are the ones that are supposed to be there for everyone else.
 
Because we are maternal by nature, we can find ourselves, if we’re not careful, investing in other people and not ourselves. When this happens, we carry things that God never intended for us to carry. Listen friend, it’s OK to say no sometimes, to not have all the answers.
 
I have often heard that the first step to being free of whatever holds us hostage, is by acknowledging its existence. A study from the University of Texas, found that by not acknowledging our emotions we are making them stronger (captivity).
 
We find in the words of John 8:36 where Jesus makes a wonderful statement of victory,
                                       “Whom the Son sets Free is Free indeed”!
 
Although this passage of scripture, is in reference to the believer’s freedom from the bondage, penalty, and guilt of sin, it also refers to our freedom to Live out Loud. We are no longer slaves to sin, and it increases our capacity to love, to have joy, to experience peace, and to enjoy life.
 
John 10:10 “I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.”
 
My Sisters,  let this year, 2022,  be the year you begin to live life to the full! Take time to invest in yourself, and when God does send that Sisterfriend your way and she does ask, Sister how you doing?, let her know For Real, For Real,  you‘ll be so glad you did.
 
Live Out Loud!!
 
Guest Blogger, Leslie Ross
 
 

Happy New Year my SisterFriends💜 you made it to another year with more trips around the sun. When we started 2021 no one new for certainty if we would actually make it past all the turns and curves life was throwing at us. Loss and grief fell like the rain on a spring day slow and steady with no end in sight. Somehow, we were the fortunate ones to live past the pain, death, destruction, and pandemic chaos. Honestly, as we enter into 2022, we haven’t actually lived past it we’ve learned to live with it and to take the lessons we’ve learned from each encounter on our journey through life. Together, I believe we learned to love God well as we learned to love ourselves on this together trek. A SisterFriend shared this thought with me, “We pray for the best as we prepare for the worst” when she said it, I paused in thought for a while because it almost felt anti faith. The more I pondered I was eventually brought to the place of faith without works is dead.

14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. 18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without [a]your works, and I will show you my faith by [b]my works. James 2:14-18

The pandemic lessons have taught many of us to be ambidextrous in our movements and thinking. The ability became a learned behavior for not just survival but for thriving in an ever-changing society. To be even handed on both sides with accuracy and power has been a life-giving attribute during this season of multiple transitions and paradigms. My sister everything around you said it couldn’t be done, it wouldn’t be done yet God became the wind beneath your efforts, and you saw much accomplished, healed, restored, and strengthened as you stayed connected to God.
The sisterhood you didn’t see became present/known right before you and the size of that sisterhood had no value placed on it, the value was achieved and celebrated in the circle ⭕️ itself and not the size of the circle. As we embark on this new year, I sense a greater appreciation for life, simple tasks, gathering, family, community, shopping, and breathing without masks has been imprinted on our hearts. The imprint has brought us to She is ….Fulfilled! Fulfilled is satisfied, at ease, at peace, content, pleased , untroubled and gratified. How can this be? She is….Fulfilled because He has covered her with His goodness and His goodness has taught her restless heart to be at peace.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So, don’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27

To truly grasp the word fulfilled you must divorce yourself from the relationship we have at times with words and language. Being fulfilled doesn’t mean you don’t set goals or grasp for new heights , try unfamiliar tasks and accomplishments. Fulfillment truly embodies the wholeness and complete work of the spirit in us and through us thus completely satisfying the wanting our souls long for. I pray 2022 will officially induct you into the
She is….Fulfilled club!
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Blogger, Teresa Cooper
Psalm 16:11 You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

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How many of us have ever dealt with stress and anxiety? I hope everyone is virtually raising a hand. Stress is defined as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. Anxiety refers to being in a persistent state of worry or displaying excessive amounts of fear. During this pandemic, stress and anxiety levels have drastically increased. I know mine have! We have had to face so many issues like finding a job, working remote, kids learning virtually, bills, getting vaccinated or not, trying not to get COVID, just to name a few.
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For as long as I can remember, I have always been a stressed and anxious person. I just used to hide it very well. As the oldest child, I’ve always felt the pressure of setting a good example for my siblings. The expectation was to not only get a good education but to also be like a second mom to them. Those of you who are the oldest understand what I’m talking about. Parents always put so much responsibility on the oldest child. What happens if I fail or I don’t live up to the expectations put on me that everyone else including myself have? Failure never seemed like an option to me. Then as a single woman on my own, I feel an added amount of pressure. “When are you going to get a boyfriend? When are you getting married? When do you plan on having kids because you know you’re getting older? You’re starting to look a little hefty.” And it goes on and on. This type of consistent questioning can cause you to overthink and become stressed out about where you are in your life journey.
 
As time progressed, my stress and anxiety went from being hidden to causing physical symptoms in my body. I started having sleeping problems where I wasn’t able to get a good night’s sleep or I’m just up until 4 or 5 in the morning every night. Chronic headaches and mild depression started to set in. My muscles in my jaw, neck and back get really tense and start to flare up. I’ve started to become really on edge and jumpy. The smallest thing can cause me to literally jump and/or scream. Those are just some of the things I battle daily. I’ve learned that these symptoms can turn into a greater problem down the line if not addressed and managed.
 
So how do we work on this? First, when I feel myself starting to get really anxious or stressed out, I ask myself “Girl, why are you trippin?” The Bible tells us “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” - Matthew 6:27. Stressing and worrying won’t change the problem that’s in front of you. The good news is there’s no shame in feeling this way, and if you need help, I urge you to go seek it. In the black community, we don’t really talk a lot about therapy. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with seeking professional help and getting to the root of your anxiety. If you don’t have the resources to see a therapist or just don’t feel comfortable, speak to your pastor, a family member or friend that you can trust to not be judgmental and will have your best interest at heart. Another thing I will do is get in my Word, turn some worship music on and get before God to pray. He will always comfort and calm me down. Some other tips to help reduce and manage your anxiety are:
 

• Make sure you’re eating healthy, balanced meals. Try not to skip a meal.
• Limit caffeine (triggers anxiety attacks)
• Make sure you’re getting enough sleep every night.
• Get out and exercise daily for at least 20 minutes a day.
• Whenever you feel yourself having an anxiety attack, take depression breaths.
• Learn what your triggers are.
• Write in a journal.

 
This is a daily battle within myself, and I am constantly working on ways to manage it better. Remember to ask yourself, “Girl, why are you trippin” and talk to God. It’s okay to ask for help. He’s given us all the tools we need to mange this.
“I want you to be free from anxieties.” - 1 Corinthians 7:32
 
Guest Blogger, Jasmine Smith