Back when I was in high school, (I thought) I knew two things. 1. That I was called to children’s/youth ministry and 2. My high school sweetheart and I were going to be married. Well, one out of two isn’t bad.
Those were the days when I thought l knew everything that would happen. I didn’t think about what God wanted or what his plans were for my life. I just planned in my head that by the time I was 30, I would be married. Well, I’m past 30 and single. I’m not talking to my high school sweetheart anymore either.
Being single wasn’t in my plans at all, but I will say that my single life gets better every day with God. Before, I would just want to date, almost anybody just somebody to fill that gap/feeling of wanting. Now I don’t feel that way anymore because I’ve grown to cherish the moments that I get to spend with God, alone or with friends.
That to me is the difference between singleness and loneliness. Loneliness is a state of mind. It can happen in your single life or even in marriage. Singleness, to me, is a state of being.
At one point in my life, I thought it was just awful. I didn’t realize how many restrictions or plans I had for my future when I start dating and not in my single life. Now I’ve learned to stop and smell the roses. I’ve learned how to have fun whether that I’m by myself or with my girls.
Everything I do now I do with the mind of is this God’s plan for me in this season? I no longer hate singleness or look at it as not being able to do anything but doing the things I have either been afraid to do or even return to certain hidden dreams of mines.
For instance, writing and teaching are two desires I left when I graduated high school. I thought I had to major in a subject that would make my family proud. However, I realized that no matter what I did in my twenties it led me right back to writing and teaching. After this, I decided my life had to change.
I decided that no matter what happened in my life, I was going to serve God that’s when everything changed and became anew to me. I began to think that my singleness was and is the time to seek God and discover what he has called me to do. “What is my ministry? What is it that you want me to do?” I asked God to close some doors (end of jobs and friendships) and he did. Some of them did hurt, but the peace I have now outweighs every hurt and disappointment I ever had.
So I want to challenge every single person to seek God- his will and his plan in your life right now. How do you do that? What does that even mean? Let’s take the word Seek for instance.
“Seek ye the Kingdom of God and his righteousness; and all these things will be added unto you,” Matthew 6: 33. Well what does that mean? What does the word Seek means? It is an attempt to find something. You may ask “What things?” What are some things that concern you? In Matthew 6: 25-32, it asks why worry about clothing or food and drink. God already has those things figured out. For me, the last two days at work are perfect examples. I went to work not knowing how I was going to eat and knowing I am budgeting my money I figured I would have some chips and something to drink. God had other plans. Little did I know he already placed me on the hearts of two co-workers who would buy my lunch not looking for me to pay them back.
Some people would say, “That’s just people being nice,” but Matthew 6: 32 the Word of God says that “Your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.” God uses anyone he pleases to do his will. When you begin to seek (to attempt to find) God, he will meet you halfway and show you who he is in your life.
Maybe it’s not food or money, it could be clothes or a ride home. It could be you don’t know if you are at the right job or your purpose. I suggest that you find scriptures, pray using those scriptures and find sermons concerning what troubles you or a topic that suddenly comes to mind.
While in your single life, God will place people (friends, pastors, etc.…) in your life that will help, support and be there for you. Find your church family, ask God for Godly friends, they are out there, get involved at church, find your spot/ministry. Ask God to begin to close doors meaning if it’s God’s Will for you to be at a place or have a certain friend, he will show you. Look for the lessons in life. I learn everyday: about areas in my life that I need to change, or God shatters certain ideas that I had. God will show you why he says no about certain people or places
Lastly, have good, wholesome fun. I’ve laughed this year like I’ve never have before. I’ve enjoyed going out with friends (single and married), done things I’ve never imagined doing (writing and teaching) and fell in love with God with a deeper passion. If you seek God, read his Word, and pray his Word, he will show you who you are in Him. He will change your mindset about single life. Don’t fret while on your Journey☀️
Pastor Teresa actively travels throughout the country imparting the Word of God in a candid and refreshing way. Teresa is the host and creator of SisterFriends Cups and Conversations, an Internet Talk Show providing a platform for women to engage. www.newcreationfamilychurch.com to learn more.